Coming back to teaching after a long stretch away is a big decision.

I love teaching. I really do. The kids are fun, they make me laugh and I enjoy making them laugh. I like seeing that lightbulb moment when they ‘get’ a concept. I like the pride in their eyes when they make huge improvements or receive a certificate. I like when the things I teach inspire them to do independent learning, and then they come back to me with all the new things they know. It’s fun to see them find a passion or persevere with a challenge.

I’ve been out of full-time teaching for nearly three years now. That’s so weird to think about. I resigned from my last full-time position at the end of 2019, planning to do some volunteer teaching work in Laos over the summer and then move to Australia with my husband so he could be closer to his family. But then Covid hit, and lockdowns happened, and I got pregnant. So we stayed. We relocated to the Waikato instead and I began relieving, not particularly keen to apply for a full-time position during what turned out to be a tiring pregnancy.

And now my son turns two soon, and I’ve been at home with him the whole time. And I have loved it. It was exhausting and scary and stressful, but also exciting and relaxing and joyful. It’s a real mixed bag. I had the immense help and privilege of a working-from-home husband, and we have a nice little routine going. We visit the local playcentre, we go swimming, we take long walks, we visit relatives.

I had originally planned to get back into full-time teaching around now. Part of me still wants to. But part of me is very nervous about re-entering a profession that eats your lifestyle the way teaching does. I don’t want to be marking papers well into the night, missing out on time with my boy. Ideally I would love a job share position, allowing me to only work two or three days a week, but they are vanishingly rare and management don’t seem to be very keen generally.

I’ve been relieving a bit this year, but unavailability at the local ECE centres means I haven’t had regular care for my son, so it’s been intermittent. I spent a term helping establish a bush school, then a term regularly covering some BT leave at another school, and I’ve sprinkled some day relief days in there. I prefer regular relief because you get to know the kids a bit more.

Spaces have finally opened up at a local kindy, so my son is going to go a couple of days a week next year, freeing me up for… teaching? Writing? Who knows?

So what’s a teacher to do?